Blogs,  Humour

CBA: because I can’t be CBA’d to think of another title

Let me introduce you to what can only be described as a syndrome, suffered by many parents alike. Now for all you medical folk this is a satirical post, however I do think I’m on the cusp of discovering a new medical condition. Though in part, for most of us parents this condition can be quite serious in its severity and can affect even the strongest and most capable parents. It’s called, “CAN’T BE ARSED” syndrome. CBA for short, and I’ve got it bad!

I first noticed it coming on when I had my second child, but if I’m honest, it was always teetering in the background with my first. But not enough for me to notice, or indeed coin a new phrase to describe it.

To understand this condition, you must be familiar with the symptoms, because often this can be confused with ‘lazyitis’ and/or ‘bone idleness’; and it would be a brave man to ever confuse the two openly to a parent.

Symptoms are:

  • Excessive Tiredness- Obvs!
  • Dry mouth- Because the kettle is just too far away
  • Poor Hygiene- The inability to wash and dress
  • Questionable Styling- Mostly leggings and a hoody, finished with an obligatory pony tail, just in case anyone knocks at your door
  • Scary Personality Changes- Turning into a Sociopathic liar as you fend off all the whatsapp requests of “fancy doing something today” from your fellow parents
  • Self-loathing- Because you knew you had soooooo much to do and haven’t done diddly-squat

All these symptoms are born from your environment. Let me set the scene. It’s day one hundred and something of being woken up in the middle of the night to crying. Your far too tired to negotiate going back to sleep in their own bed, so its off to yours instead. It’s three in a bed, with baby in the cot to boot. You’ve been relegated to the bottom of the bed, because your bundle of joy wont sleep in the middle with out pulling the blankets off you, kicking one leg out to cool.

It’s 6am and everyone’s up. You’ve probably had a couple of hours sleep but not enough to say it was a good sleep. Your plan was to go out for the day, and have that all important family trip out in the fresh air to blow the cob webs off and run some steam of the kids. But breakfast and nappy changes has consumed all your energy, and the CBA starts to creep.

Your second brew is still not lifting the wave of tiredness that’s all too consuming, and before you know it, it’s midday and you’re all still in your pyjamas. CBA has taken its hold and all your plans are out the window. All that’s left to do, is make sure the kids don’t harm themselves and think of a good excuse why no one is dressed, and the house is a mess for when your beloved arrives home from work.

CBA is a B*TCH!

Lets be honest Pips, your CBA started long before the kids came along! But I too suffer from serious CBA, I’d love to know if there is a viable treatment option for it that doesn’t involve feeling better with exercise!?

Quick question though… please tell me you manage to brush your teeth at least?

TBC

That’ll be a ‘No’ then

CBA, Kicking a right pong out

Gross! You need to get your CBA treated ASAP mate. Poor Gaz

 

Do you suffer with CBA? Then why not try the 101 challenge… check out Life with Amelia to find out more!

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