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Daddy Finger, Daddy Finger🖕🏻

WORLD NURSERY RHYME WEEK starts on the 19th November 2018, a time when we can celebrate and share our favourite musical numbers… hahahahaha yeah right, have you heard some of the lyrics in these songs?

Most are borderline ridiculous, others make zero sense, some encourage our children to hurt or maim others and the rest are just down right annoying! So, that being said, here’s my top 10 nursery rhymes that I really detest and encourage you not to expose your children too!

TOP 10 NURSERY RHYMES YOU SHOULDN’T LET YOUR CHILDREN LISTEN TO!

#1 Hush Little Baby

“If that mocking bird don’t sing, momma’s going to buy you a diamond ring”... I mean seriously!?

In order to get a child to not say a word, momma buys her precious little one something new. When that doesn’t work properly, momma promptly buys something else completely inappropriate… because that ALWAYS works! 🤣

#2 Johnny, Johnny

A song about a naughty child, eating sugar and lying about it… TWICE and then laughs in his papa’s face! No wonder this is one of my kids favourites!

#3 The Old Woman Who Lived in a Shoe

An old woman with too many kids, she struggles to feed them and then beats them before sending them to bed. Actually, typing that has actually made me like it a bit more haha… but I don’t think I need too stress my point about this one, do I?

#4 Goosey Goosey Gander

“There I met an old man who wouldn’t say his prayers, so I took him by the left leg and threw him down the stairs” 

Talk about a bit of old fashioned christian guilt! I’m not sure chucking someone down the stairs for not saying their prayers has any place in 2018 or does it? I’ve just started the boys at a C of E pre-school, should I be worried?

#5 The Alphabet Song

Now I know this might come as a surprise to you that I would put such a good educational song on the list, well hear me out!

I’ve been singing this song AT the boys for well over a year now, in the desperate hope that they pick it up and learn their ABCs. But actually I’ve now been told not to confuse them with capital letters and that we should be teaching them phonics with abc! So, why do we even have this advanced song on playlists for toddlers?? Damn it! Anyone know a good song to teach the lower case version?

#6 Georgie Porgie 

Kissing girls and making them cry… hmmm, need I go on?

#7 Rock-a-Bye-Baby

Poorly manufactured nursery furniture that results in a falling baby does not make a good rhyme IMO!

#8 Three Blind Mice

Poor visually impaired mice, suffering violence at the hands of the farmers wife. So many things wrong in this;

  1. Violence against the disabled
  2. Animal cruelty
  3. Farmers wife… does she not have her own name or title or is she just somebody’s wife?

I rest my case!

#9 Ten Little Monkeys

Ten little sh*ts more like it. How many more times do they have to be told to stop jumping on the f***ing bed? Apologies for my excessive swearing but this level of disrespect is unacceptable… bring back Super Nanny I say!

#10 Daddy Finger

And last but not least, this hideous song that plagues the kids youtube channels. The song drives me insane, as someone who spends all day every day listening to two children saying ‘daddy daddy’ over and over, I do not need to hear it in song version… especially not when sticking the kids in front of the iPad is the only break I get from it!

Also, what’s with all the weirdos on kids youtube using this song to do equally weird things with toys. I call them weirdos but actually I’m pretty jealous of the thousands they are probably making off it!

WHAT’S YOUR LEAST FAVOURITE NURSERY RHYME AND WHY?

LOL… what side of the bed did Daddy wake up on? I say it’s the dark side ha! You miserable sod… 

The lyrics are archaic at best… but I do enjoy reading about the history of some of the rhymes, for example… #4 Goosey Goosey Gander dates back to the 16th century were Catholics were persecuted by Protestants during the Reformation era. #8 Three Blind Mice – it’s origin again dates back to Queen Mary 1, and the death of 3 Protestants. I love Google! ha. Singing about an epoch in British history – well it’s a lesson in itself!

Ah Google, that explains it! Thought for a minute there that you must have taken a nursery rhyme module during your history degree days😜

Lol… You got me!! We did touch on the historical connotations of various nursery rhymes, but not in my degree. I was lying in my own pi@s and vomit at uni so can’t tell you what we discussed 🤣

Trust you to chose nursery rhymes with religious undertones in them… no wonder you don’t like them!

I didn’t even choose them on purpose! Definitely something subconscious at work there!🤣

Indeed!! Daddy Finger 🙄… umpteen times a day I hear that – those youtubers are making a fortune off the clicks my boys make on them videos, at the risk of my sanity!

ABC… have you said abc in lower case out loud… it’s bloody tough!!

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