Blogs,  Health,  Potty Training

The Brown Stuff (and I’m not talking about chocolate!)

I’m going to start this blog with an apology… because I am about to spend the next 700 words or so on the subject of ‘POO’… and not just poo… but Toddler Diarrhoea… in twins! Yes people it’s a real thing and I have it twice over and coming at me from every direction! So, needless to say, read on at your own peril!

We were aware of the boys diagnosis of Toddler Diarrhoea from the word go, the foster carer had given us plenty of warning about the smell but she did fail to mention the volume and frequency… which I think are pretty important details to know when adopting twins!

On average I change about 12-14 nappies a day, with my record being 19! I remember the day vividly, no sooner had I changed one, the other had landed another and in hindsight I should have just moved the kettle into the bog and set up camp for the day. God knows what the neighbours thought that day as the pile of nappy bags grew outside the patio door from where I was flinging them out and promptly returning to my station to do the next! It wasn’t until about a year into fatherhood that I discovered a Tommee Tippee bin… refills are a total rip off… but it has been life changing, I kid you not!

If you haven’t heard of the condition before (I think I’ll refer to it as ‘condition’ now as I can’t stomach writing the word diarrhoea anymore), then that probably means you have one of those children that just do one poo a day and you don’t need to worry about dropping them off with friends, family or nursery… well lucky you! (I’m tearing up writing this! Haha).

It’s basically an imbalance in the large bowel where the fluid is not absorbed properly, so comes out in the stool (ooo get me, the new Dr. Phil!!), there some great factsheets available on the NHS, but if your child does suffer with loose stools, get the tissues ready before you read them… it’s a tear jerker… the factsheets reassure you that it will correct itself…. By the age of 5… FIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!

The information about managing diet is really helpful too (sense the sarcasm)… you need to avoid sugar and fibre and you’ll be fine… someone please find me a type of cereal that isn’t either packed full of fibre or packed full of sugar!!! Other foods on the ‘avoid’ list are grapes, raisins, peas…. PEAS… the only vegetable I can get Haribo to actually eat!

It’s a serious battle and one I have had to just accept defeat on. The term damned if you do and damned if you don’t comes to mind with this condition… you avoid sugar and fibre and you have ‘slightly better’ poop days but have angry children that “NEED” chocolate and the constant worry about what to feed them that isn’t the same meal every day and isn’t going to turn them into a fussy eater!!!
Sorry, I’ve got a bit ranty there… must have needed to get that off my chest!

Anyway, just thought I’d share with you my pain. Get ready for the next instalment on this subject… potty training… I bet you can’t wait to see how this turns out!

I thought I had found a really good solution… rather than potty train the boys, I could train them to change each other nappies… the boys thought it was great and I had them getting in some practice in on my other half (who probs wont be thrilled that I shared the photo… soz bout it). Sadly, I don’t think they have the right skills just yet so I’m going to revert to plan B and turn this blog into a recruitment advert instead…

Job Description
– To potty train two year old twins with Toddler Diarrhoea
– To keep the house as clean as possible- especially my new sofas and carpets

It’s an unpaid position and you will be required to move in for the length of the training… as I will be somewhere exotic and sunny, sipping cocktails and dreaming about the day I don’t have to change another sh*tty nappy!

Haha … Hilarious!! I’m surprised you can still smell sh*t, with the amount that wafts past your nose each day – serious case of nose blind. Potty training has been on and off my list for what seems like an age. Couple of times we’ve tried and he’s not been ready, but now am at the stage were CBA rears it’s ugly head.

As for the blog picture… I saw the real thing, and Craig looked like he was enjoying it ha! Or just the sheer embarrassment of what his kids have got him doing now …

Becoming ‘nose blind’ is the dream right now! I only wish I could add a scratch and sniff option on here so I can share the smell with the world haha.

Craig and the boys do seem to enjoy all things poop and fart related! Their new thing is pulling his finger to let out a pump… they think it’s hilarious… me not so much… and I’m sure nursery/school even less so when they start doing it there! 

Five Little Doves

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  • Nursery Whines

    Discovering your blog for the first time. Very funny. It’s great you can laugh about it. Hats off to you having twins, let alone twins with this condition. And the dietry advice does not sound helpful! I hated potty training and my daughter is a once a day girl. Maybe just leave them to it and eventually they’ll potty train themselves… But seriously, best of luck to you and I wish them well. #bigpinklink

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