Crawling, walking, talking, feeding themselves, tripod grips, potty training, counting, saying the alphabet, dressing themselves, able to brush their own teeth… it’s literally one thing after another from birth to adulthood that a child has to start doing… and we seem to be in an urgent rush to get them all down! Why?
For me potty training is the perfect example. Once the kids turned two it seemed that EVERYONE is interested in where you are up to with it. I don’t think a day goes by where I’m either asked about how they are getting on or I jump straight down someone’s throat to let them know how we are getting on, probably out of fear of the question (or to gloat as 1 out of 2 has done amazing).
My latest thing is counting and saying our ABC’s. Prompted by Pips and her family staying with us last week and Fin-bob picked up the 4 and 1 fridge magnets, held them side by side and said “forty-one” whilst our two where sat throwing cereal at each other and talking in monkey language which only they seem to understand!
Now Pips will say she hates me being competitive and comparing the boys, but the fact is it’s real and you just can’t help but compare kids of the same age.
When you see or hear a child the same age, or worse, even younger do something your child hasn’t mastered yet it sends you into an internal panic. You might nod along and agree with their parent as they remind you that all children get to it in their own time, but you know deep down it’s eating you alive.
Come Monday morning I had the boys sat ready for class, alphabet flash cards out, fridge magnets out, paper and crayons ready to go. I flogged them with the ABC for a good 30 minutes. Haribo loved every minute and engaged well… Jay on the other hand just looked blank at me and said ‘play Woody’ and proceeded to climb all over me in hysterics because I was sat on the floor with no top on (it’s very hot!).
Straight after, I’m on the phone to Craig telling him we need to stick Haribo into Nursery for an extra day so I can really concentrate on Jay. Again, I ask Why?
My answer? Because I’m terrified that my child might get left behind, that people might think negatively about him because he’s adopted, that they might whisper behind our backs that there might be something wrong or worse again, they might think its my fault *gasps*.
Well Phil… I’m having a word with myself here, bare with… IT’S ALL IN YOUR HEAD and if any of it is true then WHO CARES? And if anyone is talking crap about your family behind your back… SCREW THEM, they’re probably just hiding their own fears or concerns by talking about yours (lets be honest, we can all be guilty of that too!).
The reality is they will get it in their own time it’s true and if for any reason they don’t, then we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it and embrace the amazing kid they are regardless!
Literally two months ago I was stressing myself out so much about potty training with Haribo because of his toddler diarrhoea, envisaging sending him to school next year still in nappies, debating whether to hold him back a year, frantically googling to try and solve the ‘problem’, literally driving myself insane… two weeks later HE decided he was doing it and has been using the toilet ever since with next to no accidents. If that doesn’t give you hope about everything to come then I don’t know what will.
Relax parents… you got this, they got this, lets just enjoy them growing up and deal with the real concerns if they ever come to fruition!
And to all you shady b*tches out there gossiping… stop it, it’s not nice y’all (I promise I’ll try harder too!).
Rant done… back to class… drilling them on numbers today haha.